Parents as Partners

Some parents wonder why I do not allow them to drop off their child at lessons. I’m happy to answer this. There are several reasons.

First, the parent is the most important person in a young child’s life. We teach our children to smile, to speak, to do everything. A child is thus bonded to their parent and will look to the parent for how to behave in a lesson.

Second, the parent will be the at-home teacher and I need them at the lesson to pay attention and take notes. I really want these kids to succeed and need your help supervising how they practice their skills the other 6 days of the week. There will be days they test the boundaries and don’t want to practice. Be consistent in your practice times, make them fun, give them an opportunity to showcase their new skill to other trusted family and friends. If they are having trouble focusing, let them watch you do your practice.

I require parents of young learners to also rent a full-size violin and have a mini lesson within the child’s lesson. This helps the parent know what the child is going through and helps them know how to reinforce a good bow hold, for example. When they see you practice at home, they will want to mimic you - because “practicing our violin is just what we do.”

By attending lessons with your child and helping them directly with their at-home practice, you are sending a powerful message that even though you are busy, you have time for them. And your participation shows that this is important for them.

When you are helping your child with their at-home practice, please avoid transactional parenting techniques that give stickers, candy, or punishments. If they are not wanting to practice, go deeper to figure out why. It could be your comments or attitude (this has happened to me) or they may be hungry or have an unmet need. Sometimes the practice needs to be broken up into 5-10 minute blocks. Please let me know privately (and never in front of the child) if there are ongoing struggles.